Should You Move to Sweden?
Insights and reflections from people who've done it: Stockholm edition.
Sweden regularly ranks among the top ten places to live and is often cited as an example of what good government can do for its citizens. In the next installment of Should You Move, Laura Skov of Notes from Exile shares her experience living in Scandinavia and if this Nordic nation lives up to the hype. (Hint: it does.)
1. Background:
Country of origin: USA
Country of current residence: Sweden
Length of time living abroad: 5+ years
2. Motivation:
It’s a cliche, but we wanted a better life. My Swedish husband and I were doing well, but we were way overworked and stressed out and had been that way for years.
What was the primary reason for your move? (e.g., work, study, retirement, lifestyle):
Some of the decision was political, as we felt the U.S. was in decline and that the government, in many ways, was no longer functioning to protect its people, which included my children. I discuss many of these reasons in my blog, Notes from Exile. But there was also a lifestyle component. We believed that in Sweden, we would have less stress, more free time, better food and water, more exercise, fresher air, and no reliance on cars. We were right in all of that.
3. Practicalities:
How challenging was the visa and work permit process?
It was absolutely painless. My husband handled everything, and it was all very clear-cut. I became a Swedish citizen last year and am very grateful for that.
What were the biggest hurdles in setting up your life abroad (e.g., housing, healthcare, banking)?
Swedish banking is a nightmare. You have to beg them to take your money, and they can refuse for no reason at all. In a cashless society, that can doom you. And the housing market in Stockholm is insane and also very expensive. We knew this coming in, but it was tough anyway.
4. Cultural Adaptation:
What were the most significant cultural adjustments you had to make?
The thing I struggled with the most was that Swedes do not chat. They are very shy, but beyond that, they created their social circle in kindergarten and do not need you. I’d heard this before I moved here, but I couldn’t imagine such a thing, so I discounted it. “It must not be true,” I told myself. It’s true. Nonetheless, I can’t seem to turn it off. I try to talk to everyone!
How did you handle language barriers and cultural misunderstandings?
Misunderstandings around language are commonplace in our house, so I was pretty well experienced in that area. In terms of culture, the bureaucracy here is vast and unyielding. If you don’t comply exactly, you’re out on your ass. As an American, I have trouble accepting that there is no wiggle room. But hear me when I say this: There is no wiggle room.
5. Quality of Life:
How would you rate your overall quality of life compared to the US?
It’s much better. Everything works, and there is zero stress.
Are you satisfied with the cost of living, healthcare, and education systems in your host country?
Very much so. As I mentioned, housing is expensive, but so many other things are comparatively cheap, like education, or altogether free, like healthcare. For us, the balance tips in our favor.
6. Professional Experience:
How has living abroad impacted your career?
Upon our arrival, I began self-employment as a writer and editor, and it’s gone quite well. With my skill set, it doesn’t matter where you are, so I would say there’s been no impact.
Were you able to find employment easily?
I moved into self-employment, but I hear it’s increasingly difficult to find work here as a foreigner.
7. Advice for Future Expats:
What are the top three things you wish you knew before moving abroad?
I had lived overseas before, so I had a good idea of what I was doing. But there are always little things that throw you. I didn’t know how dark November in Sweden would be, or how different a drunk Swede is from a sober one, or how slowwwww things can move here.
What advice would you give to someone considering a similar move?
I would recommend doing as much research as possible and talking to people who have moved to where you want to go. We visited Stockholm before we moved here to tour the schools we’d applied to and to see how the kids liked everything. We stayed a full week, and that trip removed all of our doubts.
8. Overall Experience:
Looking back, would you say moving abroad was a positive experience? Why or why not?
Yes. It was one of our best decisions because it opened up our world. My children can run around Stockholm on their own at all hours in perfect safety. They have friends from all over the world. And we travel around Europe constantly. My eldest had visited 26 countries before she began university.
End
Are you intrigued by Laura’s experience and want to learn more about life in the snowy North? Laura has much more to share about her life in Sweden on her insightful Substack, Notes from Exile.
Finally, on a side note, the unyielding regulations and the rigidity of social behavior in Sweden remind me of where I live, Switzerland. I often feel there is a high personal cost to pay for perfection because, as people, we will inevitably make mistakes; however, the benefits are enormous if you can withstand social constraints and rigid enforcement of the rules. You can read more about that below.
Or maybe a small village in France is more your speed?
Let me add a couple of observations to this very good report from Laura. I'm an American who lived in Sweden for over ten years, worked for the Swedish state, and speaks Swedish fluently. I started out really liking it there, in part because I think I was in love with the _idea_ of Sweden (as are so many Americans): free health care, free education, free access to nature, low crime rates, etc. But after several years, it started to lose its shine for me. I worked in the education sector, and I saw that the level of quality there was not nearly what it could be; I also saw that the quality of healthcare was actually not very good--though when it's free, it's hard to complain.
Also (and here I disagree slightly with what Laura says) things are EXPENSIVE in Sweden: housing is crazy, owning a car costs a lot, public transportation is terribly expensive, food is very costly, and the cost of eating out is just nuts—especially alcohol. If you are comparing prices there to the US at the present moment, it may seem reasonable, but you should realize that other parts of Europe are much cheaper. And salaries in Sweden are not high at all, so people who are not employed as bank executives have to be quite frugal.
But the thing that caused me to leave Sweden (it wasn't the climate, though of course that is a massive disadvantage, and decisive for many) was the culture. Laura describes this accurately, in my view: people do not want or need you. It is extremely difficult to find Swedish friends, and once you do, they will generally not treat you the way you might want friends to treat you. For example, I actually had lots of friends in Sweden, most of whom were very happy to see me two or three times a year. And then, they usually didn't want to talk about personal topics. In other words, acquaintances are common, but real friends are extremely rare. I found that having few good friends during the long, dark winters was a depressing experience.
That said, I still love many things about Sweden (I talk about them sometimes in my own Substack). It's a real love-hate relationship, but isn't that the case any time you've lived in a country for ten years or more?
What I’ve noticed as I read about American expats (I follow several) is that in most cases they are self employed writers or artists or other creative. I work for a global tech company so I could probably continue working remotely overseas but I imagine it would be very difficult to find the same job on my own even with the appropriate work permits.