What an inspiring journey! It really resonates with me, as I’ve experienced the challenges of adjusting to life in a new country myself. When I moved to Germany, I found it tough at first to find my place and make genuine connections. But, like the Cool Beans crew, I learned that it’s all about putting yourself out there—even when it's hard.
I remember joining a few local events and finding that sense of belonging, which made all the difference.
Now, we are in the US. We are doing the same. Joining different events and meeting other families. It’s a powerful reminder that moving abroad isn’t just about the destination—it’s about the people you meet and the relationships you build along the way.
I agree with almost every point!!! Healthcare wise, produce, jobs, etc. the only thing I am wondering about is this “Even among Americans, friendships seem more scheduled than organic, whereas, in Italy, you’re naturally welcomed into existing circles.” I agree Americans over plan everything and my Italian friends are always requesting last minuet hands. But here in Italy Existing circles are so tight! It feels a bit harder for me to jump in here.
This was so insightful/full of wisdom Elizabeth. How did you find this set of Cool Beans ladies?
The answers to question #4 are so blisteringly honest, I loved their assessment of culture/norms in America
This quote makes me want to dig a little deeper in the friendships I do have.
"like avoiding deep conversations about politics, religion, or personal struggles. Vulnerability is key to meaningful relationships, but conversations often stay light here."
Istiaq! How nice to see your smiling face in the comments! And to answer your question, they found me. They reached out and asked if they could do the survey, and of course I said, cool beans!
Agreed, It was good one—very interesting to hear how it feels moving from Italy, as opposed to most of the other accounts on here that are the other way around.
Moving from Europe, especially Mediterranean country to US is a step down in a quality of life . A big one. America has disgusting food, car culture, awful coffee, unaffordable healthcare and everything in between. No social
Life, terrible education. Police State. I can go on and on. Who in their right mind would want to move to the US, especially today?. I left US after 16 years and moved back to EU. Spain. The best decision ever. I regret living in the US for so long, it was truly depressing place. And I lived in NJ, NY, DC, Denver, and LA. If you aren’t rich already living in the US is like going to prison because you are only allowed to work and sleep. Never again.
Thank you Livia for your comment! We definitely agree with you. I think the key for us, for our happiness, was to find the right people. We would be depressed in Rome or Paris if we didn't have friends :) Where did you move from?
Thanks for this post, it really resonates with me! I know I'm biased, being an Italian who moved abroad too, but I've always felt that when an Italian leaves Italy, the tradeoff feels more extreme - both the gains and the losses seem sharper, you know?
yes! it's a constant love and hate and cursing about why Italy cannot be home! It would be such a perfect country if it wasn't for its disastrous economic and political situation!
So interesting to read about the cultural differences, I can only imagine what a shock it would be for Italians to get the check before they are finished their meal! I always found it quite rude and confronting as well.
Do you think you'll stay in Chicago? Or do you plan to move back to Italy?
Very difficult to say! If there is one thing we learned is that is totally useless to plan. Life just happens, it's so true! We have all mixed feelings and ideas about it but with a big common thought which is: we are not ready to be back to Italy any time soon. Maybe in 10 years... now it would feel too constrained :)
I can relate to the social aspect. We’ve had so many people over but very rarely are invited back because of tight schedules. I noticed differences in education, sexuality, health care, food, interactions, and more…!😋
All makes sense to me, except I'm puzzled by this, "we miss walking or biking everywhere, grabbing a quick espresso at the bar, the incredible food quality, and the sheer variety of fresh produce (in Italy, we have so many different greens!)"
In most of a America (suburbs and exurbs), definitely, but in Chicago? I've lived in several cities in the US where I can walk or bike everywhere and grab a quick espresso - I'd have to think there's a 20 places to grab espresso in your average Chicago neighborhood. And is there really less variety of produce available at, say, Whole Foods than an Italian market?
Thank you Tyler for the comment! We agree that Chicago is definitely better than most of American cities, still it feels very dispersed and coffe shops or shops in general are far apart from each other; definitely further apart than an average European city. We wrote about it here https://cbeans.substack.com/p/i-think-my-safe-big-car-is-trying; US cities didn't make it to the top 50 walkable cities at all :) Also - if you can recommend a good espresso in Chicago, please! Don't think I know of a place where espresso is actually a real espresso but we may don't know it yet! On the products variety, maybe what we miss the most is actually the taste of food. We find a few greens here (still I would say not even close to how vary our choice in Italy is) but they don't taste much and we miss the taste of our products at home! Thanks again for your inputs!
Great post and this was fun seeing things from a different perspective. I can totally understand that positivity thing, it can be overbearing in the US, although it's a little different in Boston, where I lived for 8 years. They're a little less enthusiastic in the northeast.
I can imagine that healthcare would be the biggest shock and toughest adjustment. If you've got good insurance, great. Otherwise...yikes.
The bureaucracy, on the other hand - I hear you. Although I think Italy is probably worse (?) than Austria with this, it's incredibly frustrating to deal with. Hell, in Ukraine it was far easier and they still have all sorts of Soviet-era bureaucracy to get out of the system.
Great post. And yes there is no perfect country. Be where life brings you happiness. And that might be a bit here and a bit there. That is what I do.
What an inspiring journey! It really resonates with me, as I’ve experienced the challenges of adjusting to life in a new country myself. When I moved to Germany, I found it tough at first to find my place and make genuine connections. But, like the Cool Beans crew, I learned that it’s all about putting yourself out there—even when it's hard.
I remember joining a few local events and finding that sense of belonging, which made all the difference.
Now, we are in the US. We are doing the same. Joining different events and meeting other families. It’s a powerful reminder that moving abroad isn’t just about the destination—it’s about the people you meet and the relationships you build along the way.
Thank you for sharing this incredible story!
I agree with almost every point!!! Healthcare wise, produce, jobs, etc. the only thing I am wondering about is this “Even among Americans, friendships seem more scheduled than organic, whereas, in Italy, you’re naturally welcomed into existing circles.” I agree Americans over plan everything and my Italian friends are always requesting last minuet hands. But here in Italy Existing circles are so tight! It feels a bit harder for me to jump in here.
This was so insightful/full of wisdom Elizabeth. How did you find this set of Cool Beans ladies?
The answers to question #4 are so blisteringly honest, I loved their assessment of culture/norms in America
This quote makes me want to dig a little deeper in the friendships I do have.
"like avoiding deep conversations about politics, religion, or personal struggles. Vulnerability is key to meaningful relationships, but conversations often stay light here."
Istiaq! How nice to see your smiling face in the comments! And to answer your question, they found me. They reached out and asked if they could do the survey, and of course I said, cool beans!
Agreed, It was good one—very interesting to hear how it feels moving from Italy, as opposed to most of the other accounts on here that are the other way around.
Moving from Europe, especially Mediterranean country to US is a step down in a quality of life . A big one. America has disgusting food, car culture, awful coffee, unaffordable healthcare and everything in between. No social
Life, terrible education. Police State. I can go on and on. Who in their right mind would want to move to the US, especially today?. I left US after 16 years and moved back to EU. Spain. The best decision ever. I regret living in the US for so long, it was truly depressing place. And I lived in NJ, NY, DC, Denver, and LA. If you aren’t rich already living in the US is like going to prison because you are only allowed to work and sleep. Never again.
Thank you Livia for your comment! We definitely agree with you. I think the key for us, for our happiness, was to find the right people. We would be depressed in Rome or Paris if we didn't have friends :) Where did you move from?
I always love your hot takes, Livia. You have a point of view and you don’t sugarcoat it.
Thanks for this post, it really resonates with me! I know I'm biased, being an Italian who moved abroad too, but I've always felt that when an Italian leaves Italy, the tradeoff feels more extreme - both the gains and the losses seem sharper, you know?
yes! it's a constant love and hate and cursing about why Italy cannot be home! It would be such a perfect country if it wasn't for its disastrous economic and political situation!
Agreed!!!
Where did you move to, Olivia? What are the tradeoffs that hit you the hardest?
So interesting to read about the cultural differences, I can only imagine what a shock it would be for Italians to get the check before they are finished their meal! I always found it quite rude and confronting as well.
Do you think you'll stay in Chicago? Or do you plan to move back to Italy?
Very difficult to say! If there is one thing we learned is that is totally useless to plan. Life just happens, it's so true! We have all mixed feelings and ideas about it but with a big common thought which is: we are not ready to be back to Italy any time soon. Maybe in 10 years... now it would feel too constrained :)
Oh wow ok! Well I guess that means you are where you are supposed to be right now. Good for you! I hope America stays safe for you girls. 🥰
Oh! Excellent question.
An interesting read for me since I made the same change (Europe to U.S.).
Thank you Rachel! Do you share similar experiences or have different point of views?
I can relate to the social aspect. We’ve had so many people over but very rarely are invited back because of tight schedules. I noticed differences in education, sexuality, health care, food, interactions, and more…!😋
Where are you located now, Rachel? And where did you move from?
Belgium to midwestern U.S.
What’s the biggest difference between the two places in your mind?
A difficult question. Maybe I’ve never thought about it in that way.
All makes sense to me, except I'm puzzled by this, "we miss walking or biking everywhere, grabbing a quick espresso at the bar, the incredible food quality, and the sheer variety of fresh produce (in Italy, we have so many different greens!)"
In most of a America (suburbs and exurbs), definitely, but in Chicago? I've lived in several cities in the US where I can walk or bike everywhere and grab a quick espresso - I'd have to think there's a 20 places to grab espresso in your average Chicago neighborhood. And is there really less variety of produce available at, say, Whole Foods than an Italian market?
Thank you Tyler for the comment! We agree that Chicago is definitely better than most of American cities, still it feels very dispersed and coffe shops or shops in general are far apart from each other; definitely further apart than an average European city. We wrote about it here https://cbeans.substack.com/p/i-think-my-safe-big-car-is-trying; US cities didn't make it to the top 50 walkable cities at all :) Also - if you can recommend a good espresso in Chicago, please! Don't think I know of a place where espresso is actually a real espresso but we may don't know it yet! On the products variety, maybe what we miss the most is actually the taste of food. We find a few greens here (still I would say not even close to how vary our choice in Italy is) but they don't taste much and we miss the taste of our products at home! Thanks again for your inputs!
Great post and this was fun seeing things from a different perspective. I can totally understand that positivity thing, it can be overbearing in the US, although it's a little different in Boston, where I lived for 8 years. They're a little less enthusiastic in the northeast.
I can imagine that healthcare would be the biggest shock and toughest adjustment. If you've got good insurance, great. Otherwise...yikes.
The bureaucracy, on the other hand - I hear you. Although I think Italy is probably worse (?) than Austria with this, it's incredibly frustrating to deal with. Hell, in Ukraine it was far easier and they still have all sorts of Soviet-era bureaucracy to get out of the system.
Thank you for comment Daniel :)
Toxic positivity is Puritanical emotional suppression masquerading as happiness.
I've had to read this multiple times to fully absorb and appreciate it. I'm tempted to 'borrow' it (giving you full credit of course 😉)
Of course!
This sentence will stay with me
💚