My partner and I are considering relocating to the Netherlands, so this post was fantastic! I love the Dutch people's directness and practicality. I'm so looking forward to living in a society like that! Thank you so much for sharing all this info. It was truly helpful.
You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it helpful! Any questions, feel free to leave another comment here! ;) Same question as Elizabeth, what has you considering the NL?
Oh, that’s so kind! I’ll take your offer into consideration if specific questions come to mind. I have replied Elizabeth’s question in more length, but the gist is that we liked the vibe!
My partner and I spent a whole month doing pet sitting last year in different cities of the Netherlands and we liked the vibe. Both of us have European passports, so we can stay there legally, and he has already received some work proposals that sound interesting and cool!
Excellent interview, ladies! Alexis, so cool to learn more about your life in Amsterdam and how you go there. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you!
I loved reading this Alexis. I have no plans to move to the Netherlands but I am planning a trip there at the end of May so this was so interesting. Thanks for sharing!
This series is always enjoyable and it's especially great when a writer you know and follow is featured. Alexis, so interesting to hear more about journey and life as an expat.
There are ideas I'm planning to explore soon in my own writing re: integrating and learning the local language. What you say about penetrating that circle of locals is very similar to what many of us experience in other major European cities. Vienna is crawling with expats and Austrians can be hard to get to know without a lot of effort and, of course, speaking the language. I was having a coffee with a friend and former colleague (from Ukraine) who speaks fluent German and works with lots of Austrians and has made a real effort in the past 3 years to get to know locals and she expressed how challenging it is. I mean, it takes a lot of effort and perseverance, so much so that I think many expats/immigrants/refugees find it easier to stick to their little bubbles (I certainly do, but then, I'm a bit of an anti-social misanthrope, so it's fine for me 🤣)
I'm very impressed with your attitude to buying a flat and the difficulty in getting a mortgage. Well done you! I've been battling Austrian bureaucracy a lot lately and I am not persistent at all, easily defeated. Much to my dismay, I take an opposite approach: 'ah fuck it, what's the point?' Probably not the best attitude, but it saves me from some short-term stress at least.
Community is one of the top predictors of long life! Playgrounds are wonderful places to meet people, but our kids grow up. There’s an excellent English language theater company in Vienna… fun and a good way to make friends.
Hey Daniel, it’s interesting that both you and another commenter (Luke) wondered about how to make friends and integrate fully into the new culture—the key component to happiness wherever you are, but can seem impossible when you’re a foreigner. Language helps, for sure, but mindset is the most important thing I think: one person’s mountain is another’s bump in the road. That said, it’s not easy, and no wonder you’re feeling discouraged. It’s hard, but you’ve got this!
Absolutely, thanks for the words of encouragement ☺️
After all those years in Ukraine and the circumstances I found myself in in Vienna, it's been hard to put in the effort. Especially because I was, at first, teaching full-time 100% online and then, when my contract ended in June 2023, I jumped into and embraced full-time writing and all the solo time that means. And honestly, I'm fine with that. They say writers have a lonely life and all that, but it generally suits me. Most of my social interaction is chit-chatting to fellow parents at playgrounds or at kids' birthday parties. That's the extent of my social life these days! 😂
I agree, it's easier to stick to your bubble! It's a nice bubble anyway. But sometimes I feel like I should be integrating more. I'm half Dutch, so I should speak it. One day... one day...
I get you on saving some short-term stress that comes with buying a home, but think about all the long-term benefits! ;)
Long-term benefits, sure - as long as you don't sink almost all your life savings into property in Ukraine like I did (there's no mortgage market there) and lose sleep over the fact that it might literally go up in smoke any day now 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣
(I don't know whether to laugh or cry - laughing is definitely the better coping mechanism)
Thanks, but I mean it when I say this: it REALLY helps to laugh about it as much as I can. And I already have a future book title planned: 'I Suck at Investing: From Comic Books to Ukrainian Property, A Guide to Failing Financially' 😂
Thanks for the feature! I loved reflecting to answer your thoughtful questions! ❤️🇳🇱 P.S. Readers - if you have any questions for me, add them here in the comments. Happy to share!
Hi, thank you for the wonderful interview. I study French and also have the problem of making friends in that language. Do you have any stories of trying really hard to make friends with the locals and risking rejection? In my experience the most chatty people sometimes are either Uber drivers or people without a lot of status in the society or who might be lonely, or who have something to sell you :), have you tried making friends with people who are a bit outsiders? Thanks.
THANK YOU for reading it. :) Tbh, I have not tried "really" hard at all because I have such a lovely circle of expat friends. I think here in the Netherlands, people will still chat with you in English, but you won't get invited to their homes or into their circles, and it's probably the same case even if you speak Dutch. The circles are quite tight here, and I've heard that they don't mix much within their own circles either (I, of course, don't have firsthand experience with this).
I DO have a few Dutch friends. But they fall into three groups:
1) They have lived abroad and are more open.
2) Their partner is not Dutch.
3) Although they've grown up in NL and are Dutch, one of their parents is from another country.
Uber drivers here aren't very chatty. But I also don't use Uber much. I cycle everywhere! :)
My partner and I are considering relocating to the Netherlands, so this post was fantastic! I love the Dutch people's directness and practicality. I'm so looking forward to living in a society like that! Thank you so much for sharing all this info. It was truly helpful.
You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it helpful! Any questions, feel free to leave another comment here! ;) Same question as Elizabeth, what has you considering the NL?
Oh, that’s so kind! I’ll take your offer into consideration if specific questions come to mind. I have replied Elizabeth’s question in more length, but the gist is that we liked the vibe!
I'm glad you found it helpful. Why the Netherlands? Do you have family ties there, or do you just dig the vibe?
My partner and I spent a whole month doing pet sitting last year in different cities of the Netherlands and we liked the vibe. Both of us have European passports, so we can stay there legally, and he has already received some work proposals that sound interesting and cool!
Excellent interview, ladies! Alexis, so cool to learn more about your life in Amsterdam and how you go there. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you!
Thanks, Kaila!
I loved reading this Alexis. I have no plans to move to the Netherlands but I am planning a trip there at the end of May so this was so interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Hannah! Oooo if you plan to visit Amsterdam, lmk! We could get a coffee. ;)
I’ll let you know where I end up, but that may be possible!
This series is always enjoyable and it's especially great when a writer you know and follow is featured. Alexis, so interesting to hear more about journey and life as an expat.
There are ideas I'm planning to explore soon in my own writing re: integrating and learning the local language. What you say about penetrating that circle of locals is very similar to what many of us experience in other major European cities. Vienna is crawling with expats and Austrians can be hard to get to know without a lot of effort and, of course, speaking the language. I was having a coffee with a friend and former colleague (from Ukraine) who speaks fluent German and works with lots of Austrians and has made a real effort in the past 3 years to get to know locals and she expressed how challenging it is. I mean, it takes a lot of effort and perseverance, so much so that I think many expats/immigrants/refugees find it easier to stick to their little bubbles (I certainly do, but then, I'm a bit of an anti-social misanthrope, so it's fine for me 🤣)
I'm very impressed with your attitude to buying a flat and the difficulty in getting a mortgage. Well done you! I've been battling Austrian bureaucracy a lot lately and I am not persistent at all, easily defeated. Much to my dismay, I take an opposite approach: 'ah fuck it, what's the point?' Probably not the best attitude, but it saves me from some short-term stress at least.
Community is one of the top predictors of long life! Playgrounds are wonderful places to meet people, but our kids grow up. There’s an excellent English language theater company in Vienna… fun and a good way to make friends.
Hey Daniel, it’s interesting that both you and another commenter (Luke) wondered about how to make friends and integrate fully into the new culture—the key component to happiness wherever you are, but can seem impossible when you’re a foreigner. Language helps, for sure, but mindset is the most important thing I think: one person’s mountain is another’s bump in the road. That said, it’s not easy, and no wonder you’re feeling discouraged. It’s hard, but you’ve got this!
Absolutely, thanks for the words of encouragement ☺️
After all those years in Ukraine and the circumstances I found myself in in Vienna, it's been hard to put in the effort. Especially because I was, at first, teaching full-time 100% online and then, when my contract ended in June 2023, I jumped into and embraced full-time writing and all the solo time that means. And honestly, I'm fine with that. They say writers have a lonely life and all that, but it generally suits me. Most of my social interaction is chit-chatting to fellow parents at playgrounds or at kids' birthday parties. That's the extent of my social life these days! 😂
I agree, it's easier to stick to your bubble! It's a nice bubble anyway. But sometimes I feel like I should be integrating more. I'm half Dutch, so I should speak it. One day... one day...
I get you on saving some short-term stress that comes with buying a home, but think about all the long-term benefits! ;)
Thanks for reading my story, Daniel!
Long-term benefits, sure - as long as you don't sink almost all your life savings into property in Ukraine like I did (there's no mortgage market there) and lose sleep over the fact that it might literally go up in smoke any day now 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣
(I don't know whether to laugh or cry - laughing is definitely the better coping mechanism)
#shittylifechoices #dontbuypropertyinukraine #lifeisablastLITERALLYperhaps
Yeah, of course, that’s a very different and stressful situation. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
And I'll share a funny story another time, but for a brief window, there was a small chance that I would've ended up in Amsterdam!
Thanks, but I mean it when I say this: it REALLY helps to laugh about it as much as I can. And I already have a future book title planned: 'I Suck at Investing: From Comic Books to Ukrainian Property, A Guide to Failing Financially' 😂
Thanks for the feature! I loved reflecting to answer your thoughtful questions! ❤️🇳🇱 P.S. Readers - if you have any questions for me, add them here in the comments. Happy to share!
Hi, thank you for the wonderful interview. I study French and also have the problem of making friends in that language. Do you have any stories of trying really hard to make friends with the locals and risking rejection? In my experience the most chatty people sometimes are either Uber drivers or people without a lot of status in the society or who might be lonely, or who have something to sell you :), have you tried making friends with people who are a bit outsiders? Thanks.
THANK YOU for reading it. :) Tbh, I have not tried "really" hard at all because I have such a lovely circle of expat friends. I think here in the Netherlands, people will still chat with you in English, but you won't get invited to their homes or into their circles, and it's probably the same case even if you speak Dutch. The circles are quite tight here, and I've heard that they don't mix much within their own circles either (I, of course, don't have firsthand experience with this).
I DO have a few Dutch friends. But they fall into three groups:
1) They have lived abroad and are more open.
2) Their partner is not Dutch.
3) Although they've grown up in NL and are Dutch, one of their parents is from another country.
Uber drivers here aren't very chatty. But I also don't use Uber much. I cycle everywhere! :)