Should You Move to a Coastal Village in Italy?
Insights and reflections from people who've done it: Italian edition.
Italy holds an almost mythic status as the place Americans dream of when they want to escape the cultural grind. But is Italy truly the land of expat La Dolce Vita? Well, it’s complicated.
Today, we hear from one of my charming readers who prefers to remain anonymous. She lives in a small Italian town, and her neighbors tend to take any critique as fighting words.
She shared with me that over the years, she’s witnessed the backlash from local citizenry when they took offense at a comment or post: a hapless visitor from Milan who shared a less-than-stellar restaurant review on his Facebook page and was met with a torrent of outrage, “Mediocre! How dare you, sir!”, or the tourist who told her few thousand followers that she hadn’t felt safe in a nearby village. Everyone, including the mayor and the local paper, got involved in the response and rebuttal, and the poor woman’s comment section exploded. So, today’s respondent would prefer not to stir things up if she can help it.
What I can tell you is that she is a dual Italian-American citizen who has lived in Italy for over a decade. In her honest answers, she shares her experience living in a small Italian town and touches on a few issues that are frequently ignored when considering a move to Italy and a few that are often invisible to tourists.
Interestingly, as I talk to more expats in Italy (like Judy Witts-Francini), a theme emerges: life can be Under the Tuscan Sun if you come with resources, but if you live as a local on a local salary, life is more challenging—a good life, but different from what is being marketed to Americans searching for a gentler way of life.
A reader in a small Italian coastal village.
1. Background:
Country of origin: United States
Country of current residence: Italy
Length of time living abroad: 11 years
2. Motivation: What was the primary reason for your move? (e.g., work, study, retirement, lifestyle):
Equally, lifestyle and love. I needed a big change, and I was going to move somewhere, I just happened to have met someone and figured, why not where he is? Coastal Italy looks like just as good a place as any!
3. Practicalities: How challenging was the visa and work permit process?
For me, it was fairly easy as I got Italian citizenship through jure sanguinis.1 It took a few months to collect the documents and get an appointment, but I was lucky I didn't have much difficulty.
What were the biggest hurdles in setting up your life abroad (e.g., housing, healthcare, banking)?
Banking has been a continual nightmare, but honestly, the worst part is the healthcare where I am. I don't believe this is true for all of Italy, but I have had awful experiences.
4. Cultural Adaptation: What were the most significant cultural adjustments you had to make?
The one that bothers me the most day in and day out is how much everyone dresses up. I cannot stand the fact I have to put on an outfit to grab something from the store around the corner. I have relaxed this in recent years as I realized people are gonna judge no matter what, but I do feel the pressure to make an effort for my local friends when we go out because they have been generous enough to include me. But I have isolated myself much more than I otherwise would have because the amount of prep work for every outing is exhausting.
That and the yelling, so much yelling. Especially at work. I never heard anyone yell in a workplace until I moved here, and then it was basically every day. I, of course, adapted but then my new normal volume and tone of debate was NOT appreciated by my family back home.
How did you handle language barriers and cultural misunderstandings?
Honestly, I was weird in the US, too, but now I have the excuse that I am a foreigner. Now, my quirks are because I'm not from here instead of what is most likely undiagnosed autism. But I can communicate fairly well; I studied like a crazy person when I first moved here, so the period of not being able to communicate was fairly short.
However, I don't feel the need or desire to put in the hours to perfect my second language as I can communicate fine. I do run into many people who think I should be putting in more effort to speak like a native speaker. I learned Italian as an adult; it will never be accentless, and it’s a good litmus test for who I want to put the effort into spending time with.
Dealing with bureaucracy will always be difficult—as I have noticed most government offices or medical workers have zero patience, even if you are a native speaker. I am mostly just resigned to bringing my partner along with me to anything important because whether it is my accent, my gender, my weight, or my nationality, I am taken more seriously with him there. If it's a true misunderstanding, I apologize, of course; they happen even if we're all fluent in the same language and from the same place.
5. Quality of Life: How would you rate your overall quality of life compared to the US?
I don't know… when I first moved here, my quality of life was vastly superior to my life in the US. But slowly, the town I moved to lost its hospital, lost yearly events, lost my closest friends, lost the low cost of living, and the hottest, most unbearable period of the summer is getting longer and longer.
Are you satisfied with the cost of living, healthcare, and education systems in your host country?
The cost is ok, but healthcare access has become increasingly difficult. The cost of living is continually going up but it is still much better than in the US, for sure. I earn an Italian salary, and it gets me much less than it did when I moved here a decade ago.
The education system, I wouldn't know. I don't have kids, but my closest friend moved back to her home country because the education system was lacking, in her opinion.
6. Professional Experience: How has living abroad impacted your career?
Killed it. But I chose my career in the arts before the financial crash of 2008 and it would have probably died a natural death anyway.
Were you able to find employment easily?
In my career field, absolutely not! In tourism? Yes, right away, even before I had a good grasp of the language. BUT! BIG CAVEAT: I have found all my jobs through my existing connections. My first job was through friends of my boyfriend, and others through close friends. It would have been much harder if I didn't have connections in the place I moved to.
7. Advice for Future Expats: What are the top three things you wish you knew before moving abroad?
The only reason it worked was because I went in completely blind. I knew nothing. This was not a move I planned or dreamt of for years, so I had no expectations. It was a transitional period in my life. I randomly met a boy on vacation, and I just happened to have Italian great-grandparents I could get my citizenship through. I thought I would give it a shot, but I was totally prepared if it didn't work out.
Not knowing anything was part of the fun and adventure. If I knew the extent of 1) racism, 2) fatphobia, and 3) xenophobia, I would've steered clear and stuck to more progressive American areas—but also, back in the day, we all believed Europe was the motherland of progressive thought, so I probably wouldn't have believed it even if you’d told me.
Despite those things, I was able to find friendships and important relationships. The difficulties solidified my relationships with my other friends and family who have moved away from home to other parts of the world, as we are all having similar experiences.
What advice would you give to someone considering a similar move?
Make sure you have a good friend network online or available for video calls. If you move to an area without a big immigrant/expat community, you will be missing conversations with people who get you. I cannot stress the importance of having someone listen when the little quirks of a culture really get to you. I make it a priority to schedule time for online games with my friends, who will be my friends no matter where I am in the world. It's counterintuitive that I moved to a country that most people assume means a switch to a low-tech lifestyle, but I rely now on my online connections more than ever.
8. Overall Experience: Looking back, would you say moving abroad was a positive experience? Why or why not?
Overall, yes, positive so far.
I question whether staying or going is the right decision all the time. I still believe I have had a better life here in the last 11 years than I would have had if I had stayed in the US, but my local partner and I are questioning how long we will stay here. Living abroad has helped me have a better perspective on my life in the US, though I am constantly fighting with the grass is greener thinking.
9. Additional Comments: Please feel free to share any other insights or experiences you have.
I don't think that it is possible to replicate my international move, so I have a hard time recommending something similar. When I moved here, I was able to get a job that paid €1500, and I split my €300 rent with my boyfriend. I didn't need a car and had very little expenses. Now, to get an apartment under €1000, you have to be a half-hour drive minimum up in the mountains, and the pay is still the same as it was 10 years ago. The local hospital has closed, the closest one an hour away is terrible, and the few doctors left are not taking new patients. Anti-tourist, anti-digital nomad, and anti-immigrant sentiment is rising. If I were to make the move I did a decade ago today, I believe that I would turn around pretty quickly.
Also, something to really consider is if you have any health issues that may worsen with time or climate. I have a chronic condition that I didn't take very seriously when I was younger, so it didn't factor into my calculations. The worst things for my condition are heat/humidity and diet; I am supposed to stay away from nightshades (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes), dairy, and gluten.
Guess who was the dumb-dumb who decided to build a whole life in a hot, humid area—and getting hotter and more humid every year, and only has Italian restaurants with pizza and pasta? (Yes, I mostly cook at home, but social outings are things that happen.) That would be me. Combined with poor access to healthcare, my condition is not doing great. 😃👍
If you live or have lived abroad and would like to take the survey, please feel free to DM me.
Want to discover more about life abroad from people who’ve done it? I’ve got you!
Citizenship by descent is based on the principle of jure sanguinis (right of blood).
Loss of healthcare access outside of large cities is a problem that bedevils many countries and the writer is correct to signal it. I've fallen in love with a very affordable house in a pleasant French town that has a hospital, but I've decided not to buy it for my retirement because the area is depopulating steadily and I'm not confident that the hospital will still exist a decade from now. Similar to the writer's area, the next closest hospital is the better part of an hour's drive away. You might think that if the circumstances change, you could just sell up and move, but another aspect of depopulation is sinking property values and more difficulty selling even for a bargain asking price. As a middle-aged person, I don't like the odds.
I always appreciate when someone with firsthand experience unveils the curtain behind the romanticized idea of living in Italy (particularly a coastal town, because what's more idyllic than that?). To people who tell me how lucky I am to reside in Italy, I often respond with, 'Well, remember, nowhere in the world is perfect. They just all have different problems.' :)